Dyspraxia through a coaching lens
I have recently started training as an ADHD coach, and I feel there are a number of lessons from my new work that I can apply to the way I view and work with my dyspraxia. With that in mind, I wanted to share some of my thoughts.
Seeing the whole picture
I was diagnosed with dyspraxia about 10 years ago. At no point was I told that if I had dyspraxia there was also a 50% chance that I could have ADHD too; nor did I even think to investigate further or look at any other ways in which I did not fit in with the neurotypical population. In fact, neurodivergencies seem to travel in packs - if you have one neurodivergency, such as dyspraxia, it’s highly likely that you might have another. The list also includes Autism, Gifted or High IQ, dyslexia, dyscalculia, dysgraphia and Tourettes.
My ADHD coaching teacher might say I “missed an opportunity to explore further” regarding my lack of curiosity, in seeing whether there were any other factors, other than dyspraxia, that was contributing to my neurodivergence.
Curiosity is an important skill in coaching as it often uncovers deeper connections between seemingly unrelated matters. Is there anything else? If your body goes: “Oh, I have a thought that occurs”, or even: “Well, there is something, but I can’t put my finger on it”, then that’s an open invitation to explore further!
Setting our feet on the ground
Let us take a step back and start at the beginning of a coaching session. I always ask my client how they are feeling, on a scale of 1 to 10. The role of this question is twofold: to centre the client in the present moment, but also to move on from labels such as “good” or “bad”. Both of these labels are very nebulous, carry baggage and can shift their form, so that clients do not recognise their wins and improvements. By using a linear scale of 1 to 10, it helps them focus on the direction of travel - even moving from a 1 to a 2 is very good!
As an example, I recently noticed that the stairs accessing my local supermarket are unlit, and that is why I was tripping up so frequently in that area. It took a number of times to recognise this of course, but I celebrate it as a win - moving forward on that scale - because I now know to be cautious on that particular section of the footpath, so now I do not trip up there any more. I have also come to realise how much lighting matters to me on dark winter nights.
So, rather than asking “Do I feel good or bad about this challenge?”, perhaps ask yourself how you are feeling on a particular scale - e.g. 1 to 10 - and make it a bit more tangible.
Working with what we have
To skip further forwards in a session, into the heart of coaching, a key ethos is that it is personal development, not medical. As coaches, we are not fixing problems, but instead helping to activate you, the client, to recognise and navigate towards your potential.
In the same fashion, the rule to apply would be to lean into the qualities and opportunities to try new things your dyspraxia gives you, not to fight it.
Rather than spending time trying to “fix” issues, whether it’s trying to run when that’s not your thing, or slicing tomatoes, you can spend your time far more successfully doing other things and skip the pain and frustration - bags of pre-sliced vegetables exist for a reason, after all!
Running is tedious and requires limbs to go in all sorts of calculated directions, but plonk me in a swimming pool and I have a great time, even if I do drink a little too much of the water for my liking.
So you can either struggle, or you can do a nifty workaround and spend the time and effort you’ve saved doing something more enjoyable. Worth noting that I avoid the phrase “more productive” as that is often a value set by other people, not something that comes from within yourself.
Photo by Elevate Digital from Pexels
Finishing a Session
Towards the end of a session, I always ask what lessons the client has learnt, and what they will commit to, going forward.
I cannot speak for everyone, but if I were the client, I would say: We cannot change our dyspraxia, but we can change how we view it, we can enjoy our quirks and also make a commitment to make our lives a bit easier by any one of a number of common adjustments. That might be wearing shoes with straps instead of laces, smiling at the different patterns of food stains that we inflict on ourselves while eating, being more cautious when the lighting is poor and there are steps ahead, or simply enjoying and embracing the different thinking patterns that we sometimes have from the neurotypical population.
A final observation
My coaching training has made me recognise that ADHD is best regarded as a difference, not a disorder despite its full name. It has pros and cons. The same is definitely true of dyslexia, in that people with dyslexia often have very good spatial visualisation.
On that note, and as I write this, could the same be true of my own, or your, dyspraxia? What other hidden qualities is it giving us?
written by Paul Ginsberg
