One thing we would like you to know about Dyspraxia

As a dyspraxic individual, I feel that society misunderstands, mishandles, and ignores dyspraxia. I decided to write this article to address my feelings and those of my community regarding how we are treated by wider society.

 

I have recorded 94 answers to the prompt ‘One thing we would like you to know about dyspraxia’ from a wide range of Dyspraxia Facebook community groups and on LinkedIn. Many common elements highlight the lack of understanding and respect for dyspraxic individuals. Society needs to make more effort to understand the disability and become more tolerant and accepting. 

One common element within the answers focused on the idea that dyspraxia is about more than coordination. This is something that I wholeheartedly agree with as many people attempt to liken dyspraxia as ‘movement-based dyspraxia.’ This idea reduces the real struggles faced by the community.  

Joni Tidd stated “It’s not just about poor coordination. it affects a lot of aspects of daily life and social interaction that people don’t realise or wouldn’t expect.”

Similarly, Tom Brown agreed that dyspraxia is “Definitely not just a coordination issue. So much more’’

There are a whole range of issues that dyspraxic individuals struggle with and this needs to be understood in order to provide the correct support.

On a similar note, there was a strong desire to empathise that as dyspraxic individuals we are not just ‘clumsy.’ There is this notion that we simply are not paying enough attention or that ‘everyone is a bit clumsy sometimes.’ This idea is incredibly damaging and demonstrates a lack of desire to understand. 12 individuals highlighted this aspect as the one thing they would say.

Bethany Evans highlighted this stating “We’re not just clumsy. Dyspraxia is so complex and affects everyone differently, we all have different strengths.’’

Danielle Barras echoed this in her statement “My own thing is that it’s not just being clumsy. My dyspraxia affects me a lot and doesn’t just make me clumsy!”

Bren Bell also highlighted this element stating that “People think it is just about being clumsy but it's so much more. It is also low self-confidence, difficulty to regulate emotions, everyday situations that others find so easy can be a huge challenge.”

 Dyspraxia like any other neurodiverse condition or disability is complex and should not be reduced to one element. Dyspraxia can also affect fine motor skills, learning and memory, daily living, social and emotional impact, organisational skills and time management.

These other aspects of dyspraxia are often less understood or discussed. They were the focus point for a few individuals within their statements. Emily Jackson suggested that “Getting lost!” is the one thing she would like people to know about. With Dyspraxia it can be difficult to access new places or read a map due to troubles with a sense of direction.

Lee Green agreed with this sentiment stating “My sense of direction is rubbish, don't give me a map to read. I always spill my food and drink and have bruises from bumping into things like a pinballs’

Stevens also chooses to focus on other elements stating that “it’s so much more than the motor skills and some days it really sucks.”

Dyspraxia does not affect intelligence, as Ruth Emma Folley says “We are not stupid” and do not need to be spoken to in a way that suggests we are. While it may take us longer to process information, we will be able to do it if given our own space and time to do it. I used to suggest that it would take me three times as long to learn something but once I had it, I had it. 

Jason Richard highlighted this point as crucial when he stated “dyspraxia does not affect my intelligence or my capacity for it. Please, if I let you know that I am dyspraxic, do not start talking to me like I am stupid, or like a child. I could do without the condescension.”

In total seven people chose to focus on the intelligence aspect of dyspraxia stating that they are not stupid or a child and do not wish to be treated as if they were.

Robert Baker stressed this point when he said “that just because somebody might appear 'slow', 'dopey' or 'not quite with it', it doesn't mean they're stupid.”

Communication struggles are another aspect of dyspraxia that was highlighted. 

John Scovell suggested that ‘’generally, I find it hard to cope with interruptions so sending me an email that I can look at later works best for me.’’

Helen Flemming also chooses to highlight written communication stating that she has “Challenges around auditory processing. I prefer email, in-person or online meetings rather than speaking on the telephone.”

Email or written format is often the preferred format for instructions as it can be referred to again and it allows us as dyspraxic individuals to take the task at our own speed.

Kati Martins chooses to focus on both communication and intelligence stating “Don't make us feel that we are not useful or intelligent or that you are better than us because you are faster”

Emma Dixon chooses to focus on another aspect of communication suggesting that “When I work really hard at something I care about please understand that I might not be able to explain it properly. Don't lose confidence and please be patient with me”

It is common for us as dyspraxic individuals to struggle to explain things properly and it is disheartening when people make statements such as ‘spit it out’ or ‘get on with it.’

Andrew S Hatton highlighted another damaging and common misconception about dyspraxia and neurodiverse conditions in general.

He shared, “It really does last a whole lifetime and does not diminish even though I become better or worse at adapting to the consequences as one experiences the events of life.”

Unfortunately, there is this damaging view that dyspraxia only affects children and that you can ‘grow out of dyspraxia.’ This particular idea is something that I despise and am keen on working towards erasing. This idea means that it is harder for adult dyspraxics to access support.

Brianna Davis also highlighted this point stating that “some doctors think it only affects children. However, it is not something we grow out of. Instead, it affects us throughout our lives.”

Every individual with dyspraxia is different and what one individual within the community thrives at another will struggle. 

Emma Long supports this notion stating that “Everyone is unique with Dyspraxia/DCD. What one person can do another may not.” It is important to treat each person as an individual, not just as a condition.

Self-confidence and self-criticism featured as something several individuals wanted to highlight. Being dyspraxic you know you are different and so do a lot of other people this can lead to worries that you will not fit in or be treated the same because of dyspraxia.

Martha Armbey highlighted this point stating that “having dyspraxia can make you too self-critical. People notice you are different and you sense this but they don’t say anything. So you wonder, what is wrong with me? And this line of thinking leads you down a path where you try too hard to gain approval.”

Gillian Emerick suggested that “The anxiety is crippling.” 

Teressa Morehouse also commented on confidence stating that “dyspraxia is a barrier to what NT people just do. Join an athletic team, Can’t dance without being self-conscious. Low self-esteem.”

Due to concerns some dyspraxic individuals often choose not to attempt things they are interested in due to fear of being ridiculed and often the fear is worse than the thing itself.

Emma Newell decided to take her one thing in a positive direction stating that “dyspraxic individuals having determination & perseverance in abundance. Celebrating all the wonderful positives!” is the thing she would like you to know.

When dyspraxia is discussed, many individuals choose to focus solely on the negative aspects it is wonderful to see someone taking it from a positive direction. 

Dyspraxic individuals often have strengths such as creativity, empathy, determination and visual thinking.

Majorie Holly Grist stated that “how we see the world and have to work extra hard to refine skills other people take for granted.”

As neurodiverse individuals, we can utilise our unique skill set and understanding which should be viewed as a positive.

 

written by Charis Hawkley